Is Confidence the Key?

I'm not a faithful reader of the Wall Street Journal, but a recent article that someone tweeted about caught my eye. Its title: "Silencing the Voice that Says You're a Fraud."

Unfortunately, I am very aware of that voice in my head. It plagues me with doubts about my writing ability and causes me to hesitate about marketing my services. What gives me the right to claim to be some great writer? Surely someone will figure out that's not the case! It is thoughts like these that can be immobilizing.

One psychologist is quoted in the article saying, "People usually succeed in spite of their Inner Critic, not because of them."

Just a few weeks ago, a friend and I were discussing how and why some are perceived to be experts in their field. She, for instance, has come to be known a a local authority on social media. She's not really sure what's she's done to deserve it, but she's content to ride the wave. Yet, all the while she's wondering if someone will call her out for being a fraud.

But is she? I'm thinking it comes down to confidence. If you project an air of confidence in yourself, your ability and your knowledge, I think people are drawn to that and in turn seek you out when they need answers or insight into what they perceive is your area of expertise.

So if you silence that inner voice and face the world with confidence, does that result in success? I hoping yes!

The big quandry: Who to work for

Welcome to my adventures in networking. As your typical introverted freelance writer (yes, sad but true, I am generalizing) who prefers to remain safely behind my computer screen, socializing on any level is a struggle! Here's what I am doing to change that.

At the Creative Freelancer conference I attended last year, there was a lot of talk about creating a marketing machine; a system that would continue to market your services no matter what your workload. A successful marketing machine keeps you in front of potential clients on a regular basis and keeps the work from drying up.

Unfortunately, here I sit a year later with no marketing machine.

Thankfully my writing assignments remain steady, but the problem is I am not gaining any new work or clients. The big question for me is: Who do I want to work for?

It sounds like an odd question, but from the books I've read and the blogs I follow experts say that is the all-important question. I suppose I need to look at it from a different standpoint. As a freelance writer, I actually have control over who I work with unlike at my full-time job where those parameters are determined for me.

Of course, I can't be too picky considering I am new to this world of entrepreneurship, but I've learned that the more projects I take on, hopefully the more kudos I receive from work well done, will ultimately result in me choosing clients I really want to do business with.

That would be the goal, right?

So who do I want to work with?

I love the real estate field and considering that my full-time job is marketing for a real estate company plus I write virtual tour scripts for one of my freelance clients, it seems natural to pursue real estate writing. I suppose a Google search is in order.

Next, I would love to write for more trade publications in the real estate, construction and green industries. My Writer's Market membership should help with that.

Once I have completed this research, I suppose the next step would be plunging ahead with the cold calls (eek!) and letters of introduction to see where the opportunities lie. Just another form of networking that I need to tackle!

My photo gets the networking ball rolling

Welcome to my adventures in networking. As your typical introverted freelance writer (yes, sad but true, I am generalizing) who prefers to remain safely behind my computer screen, socializing on any level is a struggle! Here's what I am doing to change that.


Some people love to see their photo in a magazine or newspaper. I am not one of those people.

Even when I was the editor of a growing weekly newspaper, I shied away from having my photo appear next to my column. I just didn't want the added exposure.

However, this past April when the editor of the Naples Florida Weekly, a paper I freelance for, approached me about writing a weekly business column that would also feature my photo, well I was nervous but I wasn't about to turn down the opportunity.

What I wasn't prepared for was the recognition it brought me! While I had been writing for the newspaper for several months, no one, except close friends and family, realized this because very few people actually take the time to notice a story's byline. What they do notice, however, is my photo!

This added exposure has not only brought compliments but some networking opportunities, too, which hopefully will open doors to future freelance writing work. Thus far, I've been invited to help plan the 2010 American Cancer Society's event (Viva Naples!) here in Naples where I will provide my writing skills to effectively promote the three-day extravaganza. Also, former colleagues have contacted me letting me know they saw my column and would love to catch up.

Who knew that having a photo in the local newspaper could actually help me in my networking quest?! What a great marketing tool!

Guest Blog Post ... A First for Me

Welcome to my adventures in networking. As your typical introverted freelance writer (yes, sad but true, I am generalizing) who prefers to remain safely behind my computer screen, socializing on any level is a struggle! Here's what I am doing to change that.

Good things DO happen when you put yourself out there!

A few weeks ago I met Lauren Candito, president of Social Media Solutions in Orlando, and was immediately drawn to her cause, which is to help companies successfully market themselves through various social media networks. I expressed to her my interest in working with her and we've been communicating ever since.

Earlier this week, I received an email from Lauren complimenting me on a recent business column I wrote about Realtors joining the social media realm. She asked if she could use the piece as a guest post on her blog.

This is a first for me and I wanted to share it with you. Here's my guest post: http://socialmediasolutions.wordpress.com/2009/06/24/realtors-encouraged-to-join-the-social-networking-conversation/

If I had not let Lauren know about my interest in her business efforts this opportunity would never have come to be. But because I took a chance, I now have a guest blog post to show for it. How cool is that!

7 Steps to Make Networking Work for You

Welcome to my adventures in networking. As your typical introverted freelance writer (yes, sad but true, I am generalizing) who prefers to remain safely behind my computer screen, socializing on any level is a struggle!

This morning I attended another session (it's a three-part series) of the Advanced Networking Workshop held at the Naples Chamber of Commerce and facilitated by Realtor Matthew Klinowski and business coach Jessica Macera.

Here's what stuck with me: If you live in a big city, you can pretty much remain nameless and faceless and still do business.

My plan of action: Move to a big city immediately! Just kidding.

I'm thinking if I move to a big city, I wouldn't have to actually be out there meeting people face-to-face. Maybe I could simply do business from my home computer, in my sweatpants, and still be a successful copywriter without ever having to meet anyone in person to try to sell my services.

Hey, some people dream of winning the lottery. I dream of never having to face-to-face network. We all gotta have our dreams, right?

In all seriousness, though, I know that is not reality, whether I'm in a city of a few million or here in Naples where we balloon up to about 300,000 or so from January to April. I must get out there and get to know people and, more importantly, have them get to know me in order for my business to even have a chance of growing.

What really took me back this morning was something business owner Phil Dodd said to me. He had read a previous post where I confessed how scary networking was for me and today he told me that at the last Advanced Networking session he felt I was the most approachable. Wow! That was eye opening. I never pictured myself like that. Maybe that will help me in my networking quest.

In any case, here's what I learned from today's session:

• Choose the right events that play to your strengths and the application of your business. Of course, to discover which events are right for you, it may require attending some that turn out to not be a good fit, but you won't know that until you show up.
• Be consistent in your networking and marketing efforts. As Matt quoted, "Repetition is recognition." And remember, more often than not, a simple message that is well executed is typically much more effective than one that is extravagant with no real thought-out plan.
• Carry a pen with you at events and when you collect a business card from someone you really made a connection with, place a check mark on that card to trigger your memory when plugging that person into your database.
• Keep notes about your contacts. This works well in Outlook which provides a spot for notes. As Jessica pointed out, keep notes about each person's likes and dislikes which can spur conversation the next time you meet them.
• Organize your contacts. Keep a list of casual contacts versus those you consider "hot pursuits."
• Maintain a regular follow-up schedule. Whether you follow-up with an email one day after meeting someone or deliver a handwritten note to them within a week, make a plan and stick to it.
• Let your personality shine through. The more you let people see the real you, the more memorable you will be. Stand out from the crowd.

But the most important point is that networking is a lifestyle. If you commit to it in whatever capacity, you will follow-through and get it done. Happy networking!

Just Get Over it & Participate Already!

Welcome to my adventures in networking. As your typical introverted freelance writer (yes, sad but true, I am generalizing) who prefers to remain safely behind my computer screen, socializing on any level is a struggle!

I have this insatiable need to learn. Unfortunately what that does is keep me safely tucked away behind my computer or in the pages of a book rather than out in the real world getting to know people. To combine my appetite for knowledge and also continue my networking quest, I attended Coffee & Social Media, an informal group that meets the second Tuesday of every month at Bad Ass Coffee here in Naples.

The get-together was great --- about 20 people sharing thoughts and issues and questions surrounding their involvement with social media. The problem: I continue to be a spectator rather than actually participate in the discussion. I know what my hang-up is. I sit there thinking any comment or question I bring up will sound stupid or immature among this group of professionals, even though I am technically a professional myself.

My thought is, the more I attend the more comfortable I'll feel with the group and the more apt I will be to actively participate rather than just listen.

Then I thought participating in a discussion via the computer would be easier. Wrong! Yesterday afternoon I joined a conversation about social media for B2B happening on Twitter. The questions from the moderator were thought-provoking and the comments from those online were excellent, but again I felt insecure. I did make a comment and asked a question, but that did nothing to ease my fears of being perceived as stupid or immature.

So where does that leave me? Grappling with my own ridiculous insecurities. The good news: I'm not giving up. I mean, sooner or later I have to get over it, right?

Confessing my addiction

Welcome to my adventures in networking. As your typical introverted freelance writer (yes, sad but true, I am generalizing) who prefers to remain safely behind my computer screen, socializing on any level is a struggle!



My name is Alysia Shivers and I am a social media-aholic.
There. I’ve said it. Whew!
Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, blogs … I can’t get enough! I am literally sucking in so much information about these sites every day that my head feels like it will explode as it hits the pillow each night.
Do I need help? Probably. Will I accept it? Not unless your advice includes ways in which I can use social networking better and more efficiently, because frankly I do not want to stop.
Right now, as my TweetDeck keeps notifying me of updates, I can’t help but peek up at it to see what people are talking about. In the evening, my husband gets on the computer to check his email and play around on YouTube and all the while my mind is screaming, “I’m missing out on vital communications?!”
In the midst of tweeting and gathering followers, checking LinkedIn answers to see if I may be of assistance, updating my status on Facebook, and deciding whether or not to create a Fan Page, I’m absorbing every tidbit I can about how to use these systems most effectively.
A big help is attending Social Media Success Summit 2009. I’m learning a great deal from these social media experts about what to do today to grow my business and my social network and what the social media future may hold. I’ll fill you in as I go through these informative sessions over the next few weeks.
The good thing about social media is I get to communicate with others all over the globe via the computer, relieving me of my face-to-face networking fears. Of course, I still believe face-to-face is truly the best way to obtain new business, a belief me and my shy self are still coming to terms with.

Networking .. Not So Scary After All

The morning after a long holiday weekend, I dragged myself out from under the comfort of my covers to attend an Advanced Networking Workshop at the local chamber of commerce. I was tempted to hit the snooze button and continue to catch some zzz’s but that nagging voice in my brain had enlisted the help of a jackhammer that morning and kept pounding at me to get up. Believe it or not … I’m glad I did.

Maybe I felt comfortable because there were only about 20 people in the room or maybe it was because I was called out twice to practice a tactic before the class. Whatever the case, I loved it!

It got me thinking that maybe I’m not so bad at this after all. Just wishful thinking, of course, but it did raise my confidence a bit. I have to admit, I do enjoy meeting people and I like hearing about what they do. I think it really just comes down to me crafting my message a bit more to help sell myself better.

Here are some tips I took away from the class:

• Get your mood right before entering a networking function. As one of the instructors noted, on the way to an event she listens to upbeat music in her car, singing loudly for all to hear, which puts her in her happy place.
  
  
• If your handshake is rememberable, you are doing it wrong. Don’t be the Shaker, the Klingon, the Gripper or Queen Elizabeth. Get in and get out fast with a firm, confident handshake using your entire hand.
  
  
• Drink some extra water before the event. It wards off dry mouth and the potential for spitting. Drinking too much red wine can have the same drying effects.
  
  
• If there are a bunch of small groups, develop an approach (the slide in, the burst in, the team approach) that works for you and introduce yourself. Remember: Everyone is there to network; they will be welcoming.
  
  
• Don’t work the room while you are working the room. This is extremely rude. If you are speaking to someone, focus on them, not on who you’d like to talk to next.
  
  
• Keep in mind that just because you may have ruled someone out as a potential customer doesn’t mean they don’t know someone who could use your services.

Happy networking!

Forever doomed by nerves and dead plants?

My life feels like one big research assignment. I am currently conducting two experiments (insert mad scientist laugh here just because it’s fun).
The first is related to my freelance writing business and it’s something I’m deathly afraid of – networking. I believe I’m flat-out no good at it. My tragedy is two-fold. In my constant state of nervousness when speaking with a stranger, I tend to keep the conversation one-sided – meaning all about them – that I never give them the opportunity to inquire more about me. Or I just never find the right moment to tell them what I do except to say “I’m a freelance writer,” which usually elicits an “Oh” response and nothing more. And, the final scenario, which entails exchanging business cards with everyone I come in contact with but making no real connection with any of them. In the end, I wind up frustrated, tired and soaked (yuck!).

The problem is, I do have a business and I want and need to be promoting my abilities, but when I hear networking event I immediately shy away. So, I’m working on it, hence experiment number one where I’ll make an effort to get out there and then share my experiences, the good, the bad and the downright embarrassing, so others may learn from my mistakes and (hopefully!) share in my successes.

The second experiment is something I’ve been contemplating for a while now – starting a vegetable garden. You must understand, I have absolutely no green thumb. I’m embarrassed to admit, but I even killed a cactus once obviously from just plain neglect. My husband is a certified and well-educated horticulturist who finds humor in my attempts to keep all-things-green alive. While he’s spouting off long Latin names, I can only stare back in utter confusion, my brain still trying to wrap itself around the difference between an annual and a perennial. So, I’m working on this, too.

Fingers crossed … maybe by year’s end I’ll be a networking hound and a plant extraordinaire! I’m an optimist, can you tell?

Loving the change of scenery

We've been home from Maui for more than a month now, but there's no denying that the island feeling tends to stay with you for awhile. Basically what I'm saying is that I have no trouble reliving those memories now so I can bask in that easy-paced lifestyle once again, even if it's just for a few moments.

One of the things I love most about Maui is its mountainous terrain. Coming from Florida where our house, and the majority of the state for that matter, sits literally just feet above sea level, it's nice to see a change in the landscape. And there really is nothing like seeing that morning sun peek over the top of Mount Haleakala or see the golden colors of the setting sun reflecting off the mountain's face come evening. Talk about breathtaking!

Another favorite of mine is the island's different microclimates. My parents live along the beach where warm days and mild evenings are the norm, and yet just a short, 10-minute drive up-country and the temperature change is unmistakable. In fact, a light jacket is usually called for. This is the part of Maui where you'll find cut-your-own Christmas tree farms, while down by the beaches you are resigned to purchasing a pre-cut tree at Home Depot.

Evidence of the climate change exists in the plant life you'll find as you explore the higher elevations of Maui. While visiting up-country, my mom has stopped in at the Ace Hardware only to discover that some plants she admired would not survive in her beachfront paradise. Disappointed, yes. Enough to relocate up-country, heck no.

What I find entertaining is that on an island encompassing just over 700 square miles, residents and even frequent visitors get attached to one section. Those who live in Kihei hate the busy, touristy feel of the west end, while those who like the bustling west end dislike the more subdued feel of south side.

I suppose I can't say much considering that we have friends who live in North Naples, just 10 miles away from our house, and we always say we could never live up there where it's so busy! And yet, they think we live out in the boonies. I suppose it's all relative.